Category Archives: Counseling

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU NEED THERAPY?

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Heather’s been listening and was shocked to recently hear an educated woman say that she asked her husband if she needed to go to therapy: was she crazy? I thought those days were over – a thing of the past. Perhaps if you lived in Toronto you remember 999 Queen Street West – a psychiatric hospital and most people kept their distance from it and referred to ‘the crazy people’ who were being treated there. When it opened in 1850, can you believe what it was named? The Provincial Lunatic Asylum. Of course this was a time when the topic of mental health was something not talked about. In fact the only words used to describe people with a mental health problem were crazy, loonie, insane.

Fortunately, mental health has found more and more acceptance, particularly as more and more well-known and respected people share in the media how it has affected them and how the professional and personal support they found has made such a tremendous difference in their lives. In other words, peoples’ mental health is definitely okay to talk about. In fact it’s important to talk about. More and more people talk openly about therapy and the positive changes it has made in their lives.

BUT LET’S GET MORE SPECIFIC HERE AND ANSWER THE QUESTION ABOVE:

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU NEED THERAPY OR NOT

With a background of over 40 years working as a clinician and psychotherapist, let me give you my perspective on this question. This is such a good – and normal – question that people of every age, gender, cultural and economic background ask. I can sum it up this way: IF SOMETHING IS BOTHERING YOU AND YOU HAVE TRIED WITHOUT SUCCESS TO CHANGE IT AND YOU WANT TO CHANGE IT, DO SOME THERAPY! AS HUMANS IT IS NATURAL TO TRY TO SOLVE THINGS ON OUR OWN. AND WHEN WE CAN, WE FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT AND WELL WE SHOULD.

DO YOU KNOW MANY PEOPLE THINK CALLING A THERAPIST MEANS YOU ARE A LOSER, A WEAKLING, SOMEONE WHO CAN’T SOLVE THEIR OWN PROBLEMS. NOT TRUE!!!! IT TAKES COURAGE AND SELF-CONFIDENCE TO SAY TO YOURSELF: YOU DON’T LIKE HOW YOU ARE FEELING, YOU HAVE TRIED YOUR BEST AND NOW YOU ARE GOING TO REACH OUT BECAUSE YOU WANT TO FEEL BETTER!!

NO REASON IS TOO BIG OR TOO SMALL TO NOT CALL A THERAPIST. IF IT’S BOTHERING YOU, THAT’S REASON ENOUGH. IF IT’S SMALL YOU WILL PROBABLY NEED ONLY A COUPLE OF SESSIONS TO DEAL WITH IT. IF IT’S LARGE YOUR THERAPIST WILL HELP YOU BREAK IT DOWN INTO MANAGEABLE PIECES. YOU CAN DO EACH PIECE OR ONLY ONE PIECE AT A TIME – YOUR DECISION.

But to answer the question above: “HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU NEED THERAPY’, let me share my perspective as a clinician and therapist with more than forty years in practice.

II

Languishing – Do You Know What This Means?

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Sociologist Corey Keyes coined this term to describe feelings many people are experiencing as a result of living through the COVID pandemic. Feelings such as:

  • Apathy, restlessness or feeling unsettled
  • An overall lack of interest in life or the things that particularly bring them joy
  • Feelings of numbness; lack of motivation

You may be interested to know that this is not a mental illness – not Depression nor Anxiety – yet it definitely affects one’s mental health. So you may feel relieved to know you don’t have a mental illness; lots of people are experiencing what you are, and you’re not the only one.

But then, what can you do to feel better – to get rid of these symptoms?

Certainly the structure – or lack thereof – in your days, your sleep, exercise, eating habits and relaxation may need to be fine-tuned. They certainly affect your mood and feelings of well-being,

HOWEVER, your mind and your thoughts play a very significant role in how you are feeling, and your outlook on life in general.

MINDFULNESS helps us learn how to live in the moment and takes us away from regrets about the past or worry about the future. With the on-again-off-again swings of this pandemic, LEARNING AND ACCEPTING WHAT WE CAN CONTROL AND CAN’T CONTROL is also very freeing in reducing the associated stress.

LEARNING HOW TO BE GRATEFUL (gratitude journals have certainly been touted in the media for some time now) is likewise a key component.

IIN SUMMARY, THESE ARE A FEW THOUGHTS ON WHAT IS NEEDED TO MOVE YOURSELF FROM

Languishing to Flourishing!

Good luck!